I ain't, er...
I ain't married, sweetheart.
Are YOU?
No.
I bet you got a boyfriend.
- No, not at the moment. - Nice-looking girl like you?
Have YOU got a boyfriend?
I give 'em all a wide berth.
They got me into enough trouble in the past!
[Cynthia's laughter turns into sobs]
You got a job, have you?
Yeah.
That's good.
What doin'?
- I'm an optometrist. - Eh?
I test eyes. Optician?
Are you?
Well...
There's a turn up.
- What do YOU do? - I work in a factory.
D'you like it?
It pays the rent.
How about your daughter?
She works for the council.
Have you got any sisters?
No. Two brothers.
Oh, are they, um...
adopted?
No.
What do THEY do?
One's a computer salesman
and the other one's got his own garage.
I bet your mum was proud of you, wasn't she?
Yeah, she was.
Yeah, 'course she was.
I'D have been proud.
Why didn't you wanna see me?
Well, 'cause nobody knows about you, sweetheart.
I don't wanna upset my daughter, do I?
I mean when I was born.
Well, I couldn't.
I was too upset, see.
They wanted me to look at you.
They wanted me to hold you
but I couldn't. I just couldn't!
I didn't know if I was comin' or goin'.
I was only a little girl meself, 16.
I didn't have no choice.
If I had've seen you, I would've wanted to keep you.
You do believe me, don't you, sweetheart?
I don't blame you, darlin'.
You only just found out?
No.
I've known since I was seven.
Your mum and dad told you, did they?
Yeah, they did.
They sound like nice people.
Yeah.
My mum told me on the plane
on our way back from Barbados.
Little girl.
Was you upset?
I just looked out at the clouds.
Haven't you ever thought about me?
Yeah, 'COURSE I have!
But it ain't no good pinin' over what you ain't got, is it?
But didn't you think I'd look for you?
No, I... I didn't, as it happens.
Wish you hadn't bothered now, don't you?
No.
I'm glad.
I don't want to disrupt your family or anything.
I just had to see you.
I had to know who you were.
Listen...
I wanna wish you all the best, sweetheart,
whatever you do.
And I'll be thinkin' of you.
Bit quiet, ain't ya?
What's up?
You goin' out?
Yeah, in a bit.
You feelin' all right?
There's nothing the matter with ME.
Nothing at all.
- D'you find anything today? - Frozen chicken.
- What, in the road? - No, in a bin.
It was still cold.
Some dirty magazines.
D'you bring 'em home?
No!
Still, I suppose there are worse jobs.
Gotta laugh, ain't you, sweetheart?
Else you'd cry.
[Phone rings]
Hello.
Is that Hortense?
'Speaking.'
It's Cynthia.
Hello.
'I didn't think you'd be in.'
I am.
Well, I just, um...
wanted to ring up and say...
how nice it was to meet you yesterday. That's all.
Thank you.
Been thinkin' about you all day.
I've been thinking about YOU.
Yeah, well, um...
I just wanted to say that.
Thank you.
Dunno what to say now. Daft, ain't it?
Got home all right, did you?
Yeah. Thank you.
What have you been doin' today?
Oh, just out the back, sunnin' meself.
'What YOU been doin'? '
Just chillin' out, really.
'Yeah, hot, ain't it? '
Yeah.
Well, that's all I wanted to say, sweetheart.
Tada, then.
I'd really like to see you again.
- Would you? - Yeah.
That'd be nice.
D'you like Italian food?
Yeah, eat anything, me.
Chinese, kebabs, the lot!
'What? '
Nothing.
It's great.
[Maurice] And...
OK, other side, please.
And...
Bring your face this way, please.
Can you shut the door, please?
Yeah, sure.
Sorry.
So who did your original photographs?
My dad, actually,
but my solicitor said they weren't good enough.
D'you have a police photographer?
No.
I'm gonna come in a bit closer.
Hope you don't get claustrophobia.
No, I don't, actually.
That's good.
OK. I'm just gonna move your...
Thank you.
Sorry.
That's great.
And...
Lovely.
A little bit closer.
Now... I know this isn't very nice.
But it's gotta be done, hasn't it?
I want 'em to look as bad as possible.
Of course.
I lost my job. I was GOOD at my job.
What did you do?
I'm a beauty consultant.
OK. If you just bring your chin up.
Lovely. And...
So what actually happened to you?
My seatbelt was broken. I went through the windscreen.
It wasn't my car. I wasn't driving. It wasn't my fault.
- Yeah, you said. - It wasn't!
You OK?
Mm.
Did the driver sustain any injuries?
No, unfortunately.
He's not in your good books.
I ain't seen him since. I don't wanna see him.
Life isn't fair, is it?
Someone always draws the short straw.
OK, that's very good.
Yeah.
One more.
- Here's your receipt. - Thank you.
Ring us in the morning. We'll see what we can do.
- Fine. - Bye, then.
Mind how you go!
Oh, Maurice, that's terrible.
- How'd she do that, then? - Car crash.
- Aw, she's so lovely. - Not any more, she isn't.
[Jane] It's tragic.
[Maurice] She's getting earhole from that dosser.
He's been lookin' at me. Gives me the creeps.
I don't believe it.
[Jane] How much money d'you think she'll get?
- What? - Insurance.
Oh, if she's lucky - 15, 20 grand.
I dunno what I'd do if it happened to me.
Think I'd kill meself.
- Hello. - Hiya.
Didn't expect to see YOU.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Hello, Monica.
Hi, Jane.
Just been for a facial. I'm dying for a cup of tea.
- Look over there. - What?
- That bloke. - What bloke?
See who it is?
- What, by the lamppost? - Yeah.
It's Stuart Christian, isn't it?
No!
It IS.
- But he's in Sydney. - Is he?
He's comin' over.
[Maurice] Doesn't look well, does he?
It's that man.
- It's OK. We know him. - Do ya?
- What's he want? - God knows.
- It's over to you, buster. - Thanks very much(!).
[Door opens]
[Maurice] Hello, Stuart.
[Stuart] Maurice.
Long time, no see.
Yeah.
How's things?
Fine, thanks. Fine.
Good.
You're lookin' well.
You're still 'ere then.
Yup.
Good.
I thought we'd lost you to Australia.
Well...
How's the wife and kids? Maureen.
Monica. Haven't got any kids.
- No? - She's great, thanks.
Good on you, mate.
- You still in the game? - Look at all this!
What are you doin'?
It's lost its style, Maurice.
Has it?
Looks like a dentist's waiting room.
[Maurice chuckles]
I'd kill for a cup o' tea.
If you're 21... or a millionaire...
it's great.
Or you've got nine kids...
you're fine.
Brilliant. Open arms.
But for guys like you and me,
doesn't matter how good you are -
forget it.
But it was an experience... and now I'm back.
That's too bad. You were full of such big plans.
[Stuart] It's a big place.
- That's true. - Too fuckin' big.
You're lookin' as gorgeous as ever, Monica.
You thinkin' about setting up again?
No, forget it. Too much of a pain.
You know what it's like, Maurice.
You sweat your balls off for years
and try and make people happy.
And what d'you get back? Nothing!
(Thanks.)
By the way, this is Jane, my assistant.
I bought the business from Mr Christian.
- Hello. - Hello, Jane.
I hope he's treatin' you well.
He's all right.
You can work for me any time.
I'm all right where I am, thank you.
Your wife must've been sorry to come back.
Which wife?
Ah, that bitch.
She never came out there in the first place.
Oh.
- So where you living now? - Down in Grays.
- Essex. - Yeah.
- Me mum's place. - Must be nice for her.
- Havin' her boy to fuss over. - She's dead.
She died when I was in Bangkok.
Aw!
- Sorry to hear that. - That's a shame.
Didn't see much of her anyway.
It's my dad I miss.
You win some, you lose some.
[Teeth chatter against the mug]
You must've had some lovely weather in Australia.
Too hot.
It's too hot over there,
it's too cold over here.
[Stuart] Hasn't changed much in here.
[Maurice] Just a lick of paint.
Still got the Bronika, then?
Yup.
I should've thought
you'd be able to afford a Hasselblad by now, Maurice.
I can.
Oh, well off, are you?
Survivin', mate, yeah.
Yeah. You've done well out of my business, haven't you?
[Maurice] MY business.
[Stuart] It's MY business.
No. I bought it from you. It's MY business.
- This was an antiques shop. - That's right.
There was nothin' here.
- I know. - I gave you my goodwill,
I gave you my clientele,
I gave you my fucking reputation.
You gave me nothing, Stuart.
- Your client list was shit. - It wasn't.
I followed it up.
I rang 'em, I didn't get one bite.
If there's any success in this shop,
- it's down to me. - That's bollocks!
It's not bollocks, it's the truth.
- How many weddings do you do? - Enough.
- How many? - About 40 a year.
- I used to do 140! - What, personally?
No. Nobody does 'em personally.
- I do. - Then you're a bloody fool.
Get people in.
If the work's there, grab it while you can.
I'm not getting some tosser in.
He could fuck up my reputation.
- I'm not a tosser! - I didn't say you were.
- I'm not a fucking tosser. - I didn't mean you.
- Don't call me a tosser. - I didn't, Stuart.
[Stuart] I can still do it!
I've still got an eye.
They can't teach you that.
- I'm still a photographer! - 'Course you are.
So if you want someone to help you out,
no worries, mate.
I'll be all right.
Right, right.
I see what you're saying, Stuart, yeah.
I'll bear it in mind.
You could lend me a camera?
Yeah, sure.
I had mine nicked.
Yeah, great.
Thanks.
Sure.
[Monica] I thought we were never gonna get rid of him.
There but for the grace of God.
Tea's on the table.
Right.
Ain't you havin' none?
No.
Why not?
I'm goin' out.
Where you goin'?
[TV is on]
I'm off now then, sweetheart.
Ain't you gonna tell me where?
You never tell me where YOU'RE goin'.
You never go nowhere.
I'm going somewhere tonight. Tada.
- Have fun. - Don't wait up.
She's been actin' right funny.
Where's she gone?
Fuck knows. She wouldn't tell us.
He's all right, though, Maurice.
Always got plenty of wine in.
- We'll get well pissed. - Nice one.
I'm a bit shy of you, to tell you the truth.
Of me? Oh, you shouldn't be.
Look at you sittin' there.
You look like a model.
Oh, do I?
I'll bet you was a pretty little girl.
Yeah, lovely.
Don't do that!
You'll stay like it.
Stop it!
Don't spoil it.
I used to drive my mum mad pullin' faces.
Bet she was a laugh, wasn't she?
No, not really.
Thought you said she was a midwife.
Yeah.
I'd like to have been one of them. I love babies.
- I'm sorry, darlin'. - It's all right.
Cheers.
Is that all right for you?
Yeah, it's lovely.
Wet, ain't it?
Where's this food, then? I'm ravishin'!
What?
I've got so many things I wanna ask you
but I can't remember what they are.
Nice to have someone to talk to, innit?
Give us your hand, here.
Oh, you've got beautiful skin.
Right, let's have a look at you.
What, can you read palms?
I used to.
Ain't done it for years.
Nobody's interested no more.
Now, if I didn't know you,
I could see by lookin' here what a nice girl you are.
Big heart.
You're gonna live to a ripe old age an' all.
Let's have a look.
Couple of kids. D'you want babies?
- I'm not sure, really. - Oh, don't ya?
- Maybe. I dunno yet. - Yeah, 'course you do.
Star sign?
Leo. I'm on the cusp of Cancer.
When's your birthday? Oh, 23rd of July.
You'd think I'd know that, wouldn't ya?
- That was the other day. - Yeah. Sunday.
Why didn't you say nothing when I phoned ya?
It's no big deal.
Did you have a party?
- No. - What d'you do, then?
Stayed in, read me book, had a drink.
- What, on your own? - Yeah.
Aw.
Well, happy birthday for Sunday, sweetheart.
Thank you.
You're out now, ain't you?
Yeah. In good company.
With your mum.
You thought about havin' driving lessons?
What for?
I could get you some for your birthday.
Don't be stupid.
Get yourself a little motor, eh?
Ain't you goin' out tonight?
- No. - Why? What's happened?
- YOU goin' out? - Yeah, later.
- Where you goin'? - Down the pub.
I hope you're taking care of yourself.
What?
Don't wanna get knocked up.
- Don't be so bloody cheeky. - Not at your age.
- All right? - Missed a bit, darlin'.
Who's this?
Oh, don't start all that again!
Come on, who is it?
- It ain't me, is it? - No!
Well, who?
Sylvester Stallone.
I can't understand a word he says.
You like lookin' at him, though.
No, he ain't my sort.
- What IS your type? - What, film star?
- Yeah. - Marlon.
I like a bloke with a bit of meat on him.
What sort of bloke do YOU go in for, then?
Oh.
Intelligent... sensitive...
Don't you care what they look like?
Yeah, but they've gotta have something going on upstairs.
You only have black boyfriends, do you?
No.
How do YOU look after yourself, then?
You know, if you don't wanna have babies.
Condoms.
You just stop at that, do you?
Yeah. It's the best way.
- Can't be too careful. - Gotta protect yourself.
It's my daughter's birthday next week.
- How old is she? - 21.
Nice age.
She's your sister now, ain't she?
Yeah. Suppose she is.
Does she look like you?
Yeah, a bit.
You look more like me than SHE does.
We're the same build.
What are her eyes like?
Blue.
My brother's doin' a party for her.
That's nice. It takes the strain off you.
Yeah, well. There is that.
- Shame YOU ain't comin'. - Ah.
Meet your new family.
- Oh, sweetheart! - What?
I nearly forgot!
Happy birthday for Sunday. It's...
Oh, you shouldn't have bothered.
It ain't nothing much.
Aw.
Aw, thank you.
Don't start crying.
Perhaps I should ask him.
- What? - If I can take someone.
I don't know. It's a family thing.
You're family, ain't ya? I'm proud of you.
Listen, Maurice, sweetheart -
I wanted to ask you a favour.
'Oh, yeah? What's that, then? [/]
You know the party Sunday?
'Barbecue. Yeah.'
Yeah. Can I bring a mate?
Sweetheart?
Hello?
Is it a bloke?
'Course it ain't a bloke! '
Chance'd be a fine thing!
'Who is it, then? '
Just someone at work.
We've been out a few times.
I was meant to have seen her Sunday only I forgot.
'Ls that all right? '
I suppose so.
What d'you mean, you suppose so?
No, it'll be fine.
I'll have to check it out, though.
Who with?
Listen, if I don't phone back, bring her, all right?
I don't wanna upset nobody.
'No, don't worry.'
Are you sure, then?
Yeah, yeah, no problem.
'OK, then, sweetheart.
'Lookin' forward to it.'
Say hello to Roxanne for me.
'Yeah.'
Tada, then.
'Bye.'
Listen, I spoke to my little brother today
and he says it's all right. D'you wanna come?
Ooh, I dunno.
I told him you was me mate.
I'd still feel a bit awkward.
'Don't be daft. You'll be with ME, won't ya? '
It wouldn't feel right.
I thought you wanted to come.
Yeah.
'Of course, if you've changed your mind... '
- I was lookin' forward to it. - Oh, I know.
- What d'you think, then? - All right, I'll come.
You're comin'?
'Yeah.'
Listen, I'll give you a ring later in the week
and give you the address.
OK, then.
'OK. Tada, then.'
Bye-bye.
Jesus!
You should've just said yes.
Makin' me look like a... Oh!
I can hardly say no now.
That's up to you.
We don't know anything about this person.
Some new mate. They've been out a few times.
Two hysterical nutters.
I'm glad she's got a friend.
I'm gonna have a great time(!)
Thought I'd ask Jane as well.
Anybody else you want to invite?
We've only got four garden chairs!
Oh, give us two of them painkillers.
There you go.
D'you fancy some fish and chips?
Don't be sarcastic.
I wasn't. Sorry.
Cheers, mate.
[Knocking]
There's a bell here.
Don't. I've just done the knocker.
All right.
Hello there.
Hello, sweetheart.
You got here in one piece?
Long time no see.
Yes. Thank you.
Hello, birthday girl.
All right, Monica?
- Look at you. - This is Paul.
- Hello, Paul. - How d'you do?
[Monica] Nice to meet you. There's Maurice.
Now come away in.
- Hi, Jane. - Hello, Monica.
This is Jane. Maurice just picked her up from the station.
[Cynthia] Here he is!
Hello, sweetheart.
Hiya.
[Roxanne] All right, Maurice?
I got you that.
- You didn't have to do that. - It's all right.
This is Paul. Maurice.
All right, mate.
Ain't you got one for me?
'Course I have. Hello, darlin'.
Don't kill him.
You've landed on your feet here, ain't ya?
This is Jane, my lovely assistant.
- I talked to you on the phone? - Yeah.
- Can I take your coats? - Yes.
Drink? Red, white, rose, beer?
- I'll have white. - Beer.
Thanks a lot.
- Cynth? - White, please.
- Jane? - Rose.
Okey-doke.
- Where's the friend? - I've no idea.
You got an ashtray, darlin'?
There's one on the coffee table.
I didn't think you'd have given up.
One of the few pleasures in life.
- These are very bright. - Don't you like 'em?
I'll just put them in a vase.
- What's that there for? - We like it.
Oi, don't laugh.
It's stupid.
[Maurice] One of my early works.
Miserable little git.
[Roxanne] You was fuckin' around.
Oi, mind your language.
- How's work, then? - It's all right, yeah.
- Still enjoying it? - Yeah.
- When you goin' to college? - Shut up.
- You're goin' to college. - I ain't.
- You got a good brain. - Don't wanna use it.
- Suit yourself. - I will.
Paul's a scaffolder.
Yeah, your mum said.
Bet that's hard work.
It can be, mate.
- Especially in the winter. - That's right.
I wanted to give it a Mediterranean feel.
It's a lovely kitchen.
- And this is... Oops! - A big lavatory.
The downstairs toilet.
Handy if you're in the garden.
It's really convenient.
I think the peach tones make it quite tranquil.
Yeah.
So you know where it is if you need it.
Now... Excuse me, Jane.
This is the garage.
I thought it was a cupboard!
- Is that a new car? - Yes, that's my car.
What was wrong with your other one?
Nothing.
I'll show you upstairs.
We'll start with this.
Oh.
There's the tank.
Where I keep towels and bedlinen.
Your airing cupboard.
Mm. Not very capacious.
This is Maurice's bathroom.
It's green. Matches your tank.
These all new carpets, are they, sweetheart?
Oh, yes.
And this is the master bedroom.
It's more like the bridal suite!
It's beautiful!
I've always wanted a four-poster.
I can see Maurice thrashing about in there(!)
It is a king-size.
It's out of a fairy tale.
- Bet this cost a bob or two. - It wasn't cheap.
And here's another lavatory.
That bathroom's mine. The en-suite.
You've got one each? Nice, ain't it, Jane?
It's like a hotel.
Don't want to trip over each other.
Oh, you've got everything, Monica.
- So where's this friend? - He's here.
- No. Your mum's. - What you talkin' about?
She asked if she could bring a friend from work.
- First I've heard. - Is it?
- She never mentioned it? - No.
Peculiar.
That must be who she's been goin' out with.
She's a dark horse, ain't she?
- Hello. - No, I'm sorry...
I'm a friend of Cynthia's.
Yes. Yes, of course.
Hello, sweetheart!
- Hello. - I thought you were, uh...
Come on in.
That's me mate, Hortense.
Hi.
That's me brother's wife.
Pleased to meet you.
- Monica. - Hello, Monica.
Come on out the back, meet me brother.
OK.
Can I take your coat...?
- Hortense. - Hortense.
- Thank you.
This is me little brother, Maurice.
Pleased to meet you, Maurice.
Ain't that little. That's Hortense.
- Hortense. - Yeah, that's right.
And this is me daughter, Roxanne.
Oh, happy birthday.
Oh, you didn't have to do that, sweetheart.
It's OK.
- That's Paul, her intended. - He ain't me intended.
And this is, um...
- Jane. - Maurice's assistant.
- Hi. - Very nice to meet you.
That's nice, innit?
- Drink? Red, white, rose? - White, please.
Thanks. That's really nice.
You're welcome.
- We'll have it later. - No, don't waste it.
I've got some to have with the cake.
We thought you'd got lost.
I took a few wrong turns.
- In a minicab? - She's got a car.
- Thanks. - There you go.
Who wants a top up?
- I'll have one. - Not for me.
Would you like a crisp, Hortense?
No, I'm fine. Thanks.
I only met Paul for the first time today, Hortense.
- He's a scaffolder. - Are you?
Another one bites the dust.
That must be quite dangerous.
Well, it can be.
Come and lollop over here.
D'you go up really high?
Sometimes.
Just you and the elements, really.
Ever fallen off?
Would you like a crudite?
- Thank you, no. - Oh, well.
- You work with my mum? - Yeah.
- On the machines? - No.
Comin' round tomorrow night, Paul?
- Mum! - Well...
- Eh? - We're goin' out.
You'll come and have a drink? It's her 21st.
It's no big deal.
- I ain't give you your present. - Chicken drumsticks.
- D'you want some salad? - Yes, please.
I'll get you some.
Doing something special tomorrow night?
No. Down the pub, as usual.
- Can we use fingers? - Use your feet if you want.
- You've a knife and fork, Jane. - Bit late now.
What d'you do at the factory?
- This looks lovely. - Hope it don't kill ya.
- You ain't her boss? - No.
- Here you are. - Thank you.
- Some salad, Paul? - No, thanks.
- It's good for you. - He don't want none.
What about Jane? Does she want salad?
Ta very much.
What do you do, Roxanne?
I work for the council.
- Down the dole? - No, I'm a road sweeper.
Who's for a potato?
- She's got my plate. - Here you are.
- Hortense? - Please.
- I'll have some of that. - Please.
You DO get girl road sweepers.
- Burgers and bangers. - Nice one.
That's your one, Roxanne.
With your name on it. The burnt one.
- Potato for you, Paul? - Please.
A nice big one.
- Here, darlin'. - One for you, pet?
Shall I do YOU, Monica?
I'll see to myself. Sit down.
What about Maurice? Who's lookin' after the worker?
Don't worry about me. I'll eat in a minute.
Your potato's there, Cynthia.
I think I'LL have salad.
Can I have my tongs back?
- Got butter? - Yes. Just a minute.
And mustard, Monica.
You like the American, don't you, Roxanne?
Yeah. Ta.
I'll just get some salad.
- Some butter, Paul? - All right, darlin'?
- Please. - Waitin' for the butter.
- There, Cynth. - Oh, Maurice!
That'll shut you up.
Having a steak, are you, Cynthia?
Yes. Thank you, Monica.
That'll put hairs on your chest.
Like some mustard or would you prefer French?
This looks lovely, Maurice.
Right.
There you go, mate.
Half a cow for you.
- Look at the size of it! - Ridiculous.
There's enough there for ALL of us.
Put colour in your cheeks.
No-one else wants a steak?
- Ain't you havin' one? - No, Cynthia.
- Not allowed. - Mustard, Paul?
- It's lovely. - Can't get rid of it, can you?
Oh, it's a real communal thing, eating.
Yes.
This is a lovely house.
Well, WE like it.
I'll show you round later, if you want.
Thanks. That'd be nice.
Yeah, it's brilliant.
You live in a flat, Hortense?
Yeah.
It's her own. She's got a mortgage.
- Whereabouts are you? - Kilburn.
That's a bit of a schlepp.
Old Kent Road and back every day.
- She drives! - I get on the tube.
I drive to the station.
You've got a bedsit, ain't you, Paul?
- Yeah. - That's a shame.
Wish I had a place of me own.
D'you still live at home, then?
No chance!
You two work on the same machine?
No. I'm the only one on slits.
D'you choose your own working hours, Roxanne?
Not bloody likely.
- She's going to college. - I ain't goin'.
Hortense went to college.
Mm. What did you study?
- Optometry. - What's that, then?
- It's to do with the eye. - That's right.
Testing.
- Given it all up now, have you? - Not exactly.
Why are you working in a cardboard box factory, then?
- I'm doing research. - That's interestin'.
What sort of research?
- Medical. - What, you lookin' at her head?
Take no notice.
There's nothing wrong with HER head.
- Did you go to university? - Yeah.
- Did you do a degree? - Yes.
- She just looks at our eyes. - Yes.
What for?
You can tell a lot about people
- from lookin' at their eyes. - True.
- Can you? - Windows to your soul.
A nice way of puttin' it, Jane.
- Who wants a top up? - No, thanks, I'm driving.
Yes, please.
- Here you are. - Oi, greedy guts!
Take a leaf out of her book, Paul.
- Lost his licence. - All right, Mum.
- Did you have an accident? - Just had one too many.
The demon drink, eh?
Is that who you've been goin' out with?
Yes. She thought I'd been seein' a bloke.
Could've been, I suppose.
- I still turn heads. - Turn stomachs!
[Bang!]
Oh, Jane!
I was just playin' with it.
D'you want one, Hortense?
We might as well pop the lot.
- No! No! - It's like a bonfire.
# Happy birthday to you
# Happy birthday, dear Stinker
[Roxanne] Yeah, Maurice, very funny(!)
[Cynthia] Darlin', join in.
# Happy birthday to you #
Hip-hip, hooray!
Nice one - champagne.
- Did anybody bring my camera in? - It's there.
- D'you have to, Monica? - Of course.
[Roxanne] Watch where you point that, Maurice.
And... [Quiet pop]
Come on, blow your candles out, Roxanne.
Everybody else gather round.
- Come on, darlin'. - Cynth, you tuck in there.
Hortense, in there.
Hurry. It's burnin' me eyebrows off.
Make a wish. One big blow.
- And... - Cheese!
Hey!
I hope your wish comes true, pet.
- Roxy. - Ta.
Cynth.
Here you are, sweetheart.
Oh, that's nice. Mm.
And Paul.
- Cynth again. - Thank you, Maurice.
- Cor, this is livin', ain't it? - Yeah.
[Maurice] OK. One for me.
Right.
On you go, then.
Oh, yeah.
OK.
Er...
I would like to propose a toast
for Roxanne on her 21st birthday.
Now it's all legal
and twice as boring for it.
Mind you, it's been legal since you were 18 anyway.
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
- Ta. - Roxanne.
Happy birthday.
- There you go. - What's that?
- Book token. - Don't be stupid!
Fuckin' hell, Maurice.
[Roxanne] Thanks!
- Your 21st, innit? - Thanks, Monica.
Happy birthday, pet.
Don't spend it all in the one shop.
Here, happy birthday.
Wish I'd brought MY present with me.
Give it to her tomorrow. That's her birthday.
Don't expect I shall see her tomorrow.
Gonna sit down, darlin'?
Sit down, everybody. Have some cake.
Hortense. Jane.
[Roxanne] Where am I goin'?
[Maurice] Anywhere you like.
- Come on the end, Paul. - Hortense.
Where's the bathroom?
It's just through there, sweetheart.
[Maurice] The door straight ahead, the light's on the left.
Thank you.
- She's a nice girl. - Yes, she is, Maurice.
- Seems very pleasant. - Yeah, she's all right.
- How you doin', Paul? - All right.
- Has your shirt dried off? - Yeah.
She takes after her mother.
[Maurice] Does she?
[Monica] You know her as well?
[Maurice] Work at the factory, does she?
You're lookin' at her.
Eh?
She's my daughter.
What's the matter with ya?
Maurice...
it's me daughter.
Don't be stupid. She's had too much to drink.
She can't be the one that...
What?
Hortense, sweetheart.
She's your sister!
What?
That's her half-sister, Paul.
You... you eat your cake, sweetheart.
Thanks.
- What's the matter? - I'm all right.
[Cynthia] I told 'em.
[Cynthia sobs]
[Cynthia] Tell 'em who you are, sweetheart.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
Well, it has. So you tell 'em, go on.
Is it true?
Yes, it is.
[Maurice] You never told her, then?
I'm sorry, darlin'.
Will someone tell me what the fuck's goin' on?
She's your sister!
Maurice?
Monica?
I always said she had a right to know.
No, Roxanne. Sweetheart, darlin'!
- Darlin', please! - I'll smack you, you slag!
Ain't enough you had one bastard,
- you had to have two! - Stop it!
[Maurice] Roxanne? Roxy?
Sit down, darlin'. Sit down, Paul.
Cynthia, I think I should go.
I don't want you to go. You sit down.
Eat your cake, Jane.
You don't half choose your moments, Cynthia.
When's the RIGHT moment, Maurice?
You tell me that.
Paul, get my coat. We're goin'.
- Don't go. - Why didn't you tell me?
- I thought you knew. - You used to tell me everythin'!
- I'm sorry. - You've fuckin' let me down!
As for you, you've ruined my party
and I hope you're happy!
Roxy... Roxanne!
She don't mean it, darlin'.
She's just a little bit upset.
- Where you goin'? - I don't know.
It's all been a bit of a shock, innit?
Did you know about her?
I always thought she'd had a boy.
- She's a slag. - No, she's not.
- She fuckin' is! - She loves you. We all love you.
You comin' back?
- No. Why should I? - You got to.
- You gotta face up to it. - Face up to what?
[Monica] She's left her card.
Oh, well. I'll post it on to her.
[Cynthia] I'll take it.
You'll be lucky if you ever see her again.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Would I?
You've been workin' at it for 18 years, ain't ya?
You turned my father against me,
you turned my Maurice against me
and you turned me daughter against me.
You'll be havin' a go at HER next.
Sorry about this, Hortense. Finished, Jane?
Why don't you sit down?
- You got a short memory. - What is it now?
You'd have none of this
if I hadn't given Maurice the money to start with.
That was your father's insurance money.
- It was for me and Roxanne. - And Maurice.
He didn't want none till he talked to you.
He was entitled to it!
I went out cleanin', took her to school,
- then did a full day's work. - Didn't we know it!
You've done nothing but spend his money since you met him.
What else do you do with money?
At least we made something of ourselves.
Haven't you just. You wanna try bringin' up a kid on your own!
She can't help it. She's never had enough love.
And you've never got on.
- That ain't my fault. - I know.
But she needs you.
- Come on. - I don't want to.
What do YOU think, Paul?
I think he's right, darlin'.
- Do ya? - Yeah.
Well, I ain't sayin' nothin'.
You won't have to.
You just have to listen.
Come on.
[Cynthia] I'm sorry, Roxanne.
It just came out, darlin'.
I didn't mean to spoil your party.
- Tell her, Maurice. - Leave her, Cynth.
[Maurice] Just tell her the truth.
Darlin'...
I got pregnant when I was 15...
and your grandad sent me away to this place.
Didn't he, Maurice?
I didn't know she was gonna come lookin' for me.
But I gotta tell you the truth, darlin',
I'm glad she did.
It ain't her fault, sweetheart.
She didn't wanna hurt you,
no more than I did.
You tell her, sweetheart.
It's true. She didn't wanna upset you.
I'm sorry.
All right?
She said you weren't never gonna come back.
[Maurice] Who did?
I never said any such thing.
She's twisted everything as usual.
[Cynthia] Yes, you did.
Well, you was wrong,
'cause she has come back, ain't you, sweetheart?
I always thought you should've known.
[Maurice] You should've told her.
[Cynthia] 'Course I should've.
But I didn't think there'd be no need.
You seem to have told all and sundry.
Meaning me, I suppose. I am his wife, after all.
[Cynthia] Then behave like his wife.
- Why ain't you give him no kids? - Quiet, Cynthia.
That's between Maurice and me.
You might not have wanted 'em but HE did.
- Shut up! - You know nothing.
- Don't I? - There are things...
- Maurice. - Like what?
Tell her.
Tell me what?
Why can't you tell her?
She can't have kids.
Simple as that.
She's physically incapable...
of havin' children.
[Maurice] We've had every test
known to medical science.
She's been prodded, poked, had operations.
We've had 15 years of it
and she can't have a baby.
I love you to bits...
but it's almost destroyed our relationship.
You know it has.
There.
I've said it.
So where's the bolt of lightnin'?
Secrets and lies!
We're ALL in pain.
Why can't we SHARE our pain?
I've spent my entire life tryin' to make people happy!
And the three people I love the most in the world
hate each other's guts! I'm in the middle -
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!
I'm sorry, Hortense.
But you are a very brave person.
- A very stupid person. - No, you're not.
You wanted to find the truth
and you were prepared to suffer the consequences.
And I admire you for that.
I mean it.
You're so lucky, Cynthia.
Have you really been working in the factory?
No.
What d'you do, then?
I'm an optometrist.
Welcome to the family.
[Jane sobs]
Maurice...
I wish I'd had a dad like you.
You're lovely!
His name's... Bingham.
Your father.
[Cynthia] He's from America.
I met him on holiday.
Benidorm.
He's a medical student.
One morning, I come down and he weren't there no more.
But he was a nice man.
He was.
Was MY father a "nice man"?
Oh, don't break my heart, darlin'!
I'm all right.
[Cynthia sobs loudly]
Oh, PLEASE, Roxanne, sweetheart!
PLEASE!
I'm frightened.
Why?
You don't love me any more.
Not like you used to.
Maurice!
You don't know how MUCH I love you.
Do you?
We've got each other, haven't we?
Bet you've never seen so much shit, have you?
You wanna see my mum's house!
D'you miss her?
Yeah.
- Did you get on with her? - She used to drive me mad!
That's what they're there for, ain't it?
Yeah.
That's me old chair, there.
Aw.
I always wanted a little sister.
It's just my brothers were much older than me
so I ended up playing on my own.
Oh, I know what you mean.
[Hortense giggles]
What you laughin' at?
Do you feel like we're sisters?
I dunno.
Do you?
- It's a bit weird. - Yeah.
I don't mind it, though.
No. Nor do I.
Don't even know you yet, do I?
D'you wanna go out one night?
Yeah.
You can take me to one of your pubs.
Yeah, all right.
How would you introduce me?
As your half-sister?
Yeah.
No, man. Too much explaining to do.
- It's what I'd say, though. - Would ya?
Yeah.
Yeah. Best to tell the truth, innit?
Yeah, it is.
That way, nobody gets hurt.
Here you are, sweetheart. Tea's up!
Go on, darlin'.
- Want a biscuit? - No, I'm all right.
Sit yourself down.
- You all right with that? - Yeah.
That's it.
Who'd have thought it, eh?
Look at you two sittin' there -
like a couple of garden gnomes!
[Cynthia chuckles]
Oh, this is the life, eh?
[Roxanne and Hortense] Yeah.
DVD Subtitling by European Captioning Institute